Sunday, April 30, 2006

Bridget Joneses

Yikes waiting for anything is sooooo nerve racking. It's killing me!
Don't want to sound obsessed so won't go into some love poems about waiting and missing someone and etc... that would make me not me right! That reminds me of the conversation I was having with N yesterday. She is suffering from the usual "don't know the tricks of being single and happy" syndrome. made me almost guilty for being not-single. Altho; much of what she said sounded reasonable; it's a pain living in a society where single-dom is treated almost like a disease which requires an immediate cure. Her friends are apparentaly hounding her with blind date prospectives and her mom throwing a near fit. 27 without a man seems to be some sort of a crime.
While talking about N, got into this debate with R on the pros and cons of arranged marriage. I am well known for my extreme hatred for arranged marriage so R asked me almost timidly whether I think what N's mom is planning is actually SO evil. I gave it a thought.

Friday, April 28, 2006

Bong Bong: who is there?

Hah, you wish this was about ganja and sublime ganja-infused poetry but it's not.
This post is based on my observations and those of some (mostly Punjabi!) friends on the undeterred parochial qualities of (us? I am ambivalent about identifying as an insider) Bongs.
The three unarguable Gods of India (last I heard) were RNT, Ray and Ganguly. With Bose thrown in for good measures. Ki? Not for you? Who cares - aamader deshe that's what people believe. Desh= Calcutta/C.R Park.
So why are Bong Bongs hated so much? Are people jealous or just tired of their obsessive self bong bong bajana? Why do Bongs smirk at Punjabis (and as my mashis say with disdain "Hindustanis!"). Why do they find semi-allegiance with the almost their aantel standard Tam Brams?
Why is my identity in the minds of the Boy's family "A THREATENINGLY AGGRESSIVE TOO PROGRESSIVE BENGALI GIRL?". What about my poor dad? Ain? Why am I not thought of as a naive gori gori red-cheeked pahari larhki (aprt from the obvious that I am kaala kaluta with crinkly hair!)...
Answers to follow??

Thursday, April 27, 2006

Loony bin Inc.

7 am. Phish to Phish

Good morning. (Feeling a bit pathetic about saying that to myself but...grin grin bear bear)
It's nice and sunny for a change. Hmm looks like it, but that's always a sharhyantra to get me out in my chaddi baniyan and then have me sneezing my eyes out...

Shits, I am talking to myself. It's okay, I am sure many international students sitting in aback-of-nowhere- town do that? Do they? I hope so.
I guess it's different for those who come and get sucked into the ethnic whirlpool and are "picked" by the existing men as the new bakri (fresh meat) in town. Uff, as if I ever wanted to be like them! "Kyu bhai, yaha aake hamare larhkio ke itne par kyu nikal aate hain? Cigarette daaru peene lagti hain!" That was my brutal introduction to the sciency types from Kanpur... Now I am being bitchy. Who is listening?

Let's see if anyone in India is up yet. Aiee shomaye? I doubt it.
Ma must be out for a walk, and rest of the gang must be slogging their ass off..
Maybe I could sleep a bit more. But then I'd feel guilty. A jog .
Discourse Analysis sounds too floofy for my taste. Should I make it content analysis instead? Or just do what i am good at, finding macro-micro political economy type angles?

Abe kutta kyu bhauk raha hai ab? OFFO... must be hungry. Sneeeze sniffle BACCHHOOO. Yaar why do these tissues stick to my nose?
Since when have I started getting allergies? I must be really turning Amrreekan!

Pia tose naina laage re (I don't sing that bad!). Let me try something english mein. Ummm. Summaar ti i i i me. Nah she sings too high.

Tea time mmmmm. Lopchu is what I need. Earl grey will do. Notun Gurere sondesh - have a craving for that suddenly. What was that story - where the mishti doi's harhi used to fill up on its own? That's what I need right now...

Shit I should get started on the paper draft. Yeh union baazi ka naatak na karke I should do what I am good at - nerdy behavior!
But those people have so much fun. Reminds me of Players days.

(Tui tui.. brain getting all nostalgic and eyes getting all teary. )
I can't believe I 've lost touch with almost all 40 of them. Is it me? But then would I want to go relive those days? I am not sure.
Gotto get my ass in line and stop these time wasting tactics.. EEPS no crackers??

Monday, April 24, 2006

These are a few of my...

Ahh, good old Elisa Dolittle inspired me to write this happy list....

Waves crashing on rocks on a bright sunny day
Meadows with yellow purple flowers scattered on dewey grass
Splashing through puddles on a monsoon afternoon
Snowflake on my tongue
Sheep grazing
Galloping horses
A candle lit dinner for two
Chocolate cheese cake
Fall colors on trees
View of valleys and lakes from a mountain top
Chai and crumbly biscuits from a hill side dhaba
Flickering headlights on a foggy Delhi morning
Freshly painted toe nails (!)
A slender diamond ring on a slender pretty hand (heee hee)
Watching Ben hur curled up on a couch with a bag of popcorn
Singing and dancing on a bright walk on the trail
Sound of waterfall, stream or a ocean at night
Sunset on Anjuna beach
Eating pineapple chunks sitting on a hammock in Goa
The smell of pine treess and collecting pine cones
Red halter dress with red ankle strap sandals...

Saturday, April 22, 2006

Poetic outbursts

I pen down my emotions
This time without pretensions
My love, my insecurity, my habitual jealousy

Somethings you should know about me
I am
Angry when I am defenceless
Angry when I am nostalgic
Angry when I give too much
Angry when I take more than I deserve
Angry at my tears
Angry at my uncontrollable giggles
My blushing
My inability to lead
My inability to laugh
At myself
My abilty to get into a shell
Just when you want me to speak
My ability to look bored
Just when I am supposed to grin
The fluttering of eyelashes
The damsel in distress
The silly jokes and
Always abandon me when I need them most

I have no reason for self pity
No reason to sulk
I have it all
Without prayers or
Chants or sacrifices

I remain
Undead and undone

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

Never before and never since, I promise...

The weather is fantastic - sunny, clear blue sky, fresh breeze, robins hopping on our bird feeder and the trees growing red buds. So I can't be senti and nostalgic. Instead I'll recall my highest highs...

Adil's open jeep March 1998 - and our million trips to either the border or nowhere. Very RDB style Nup and I would be standing up on the back seat with the wind blowing into our eyes, hair and would be screaming and laughing. The boys would be adil and whoever my boy of the moment was (wink wink). Ya, very upper middle class brat behavior - but amazing thrill.

Players performance days - the first moment when you step onto stage, (preferably) you are the only one on it, every one is just looking at you and waiting for you to do soemthing - that used to give me the highest high possible. The heat of the lights, people breathing and just the energy of the stage.. mmmm ... where are those days! It makes me sound like a self obsessed prick - but whatever. I've never been much of a public speaker so you would think the main emotion on getting onto stage would be nervousness, but somehow it's never been that. Ofcourse, I did get nightmares even 5 years later my last performance that I am on stage and don't know what the heck the play is about! And ofcourse as good or better is when the play ends and you await the applause! HEE HEE that is sooo fun :). With Lesson the end was pretty evident (I was murdered) but with Gum and Goo, there were so many cuts that the audience was never sure when to clap for the final time! It was quite a feeling of power... I suspect that being able to sing in a musical would be an even bigger high? Or maybe Nandu could tell me how it was to perform solo (even tho the director was such a sweetheart that she might want to forget those days!)

Chandratal lake, early morning sunrise: I know I know I've raved and ranted about the place a million times already but you CANNOt imagine what it looks like. I swear, I am not being corny or pseudo poetic when I say it's spellbinding. The calm lake (the lake is calm in the norning and very restless at night I don't know why), with the reflection of the red orange horizon, the hills of different colors and a lone shepard grazing his sheep on the other end.. ouch it's almost too pretty to recall! My hungover friends used to be asleep and that was the time when tent waale bhaiya would come and do his pooja on the chandra devi rocks, I would sit by the lake side watching him and feel so peaceful, or just stroll by the sides of the lake and just watch it change colors as the sun shifted its position. No one around (except for the 4 of us), no sound except that of nature ..... JUST GO THERE and LIVE IT, once atleast!

Flying on top of the himalayas on the way to Leh Ladakh. Trust me, it is an unbelievable feeling that you are higher than the highest mountains in the world, just to be able to stare down at them, take photographs and scrutinize them at your will makes you feel so much in control and yet so small. Does that make any sense? Actually I feel that way every time I fly somewhere - just going thru the clouds (the first time I thought it was snow!), looking down at sudden rivers, little townships, big highways, setting sun and the best is to see another plane flying next to you!

On a sunny weekend, jogging with the pacific ocean and A (or if he is not there then with Beth orton on my ipod;), till my heart feels like it's going to jump out of my mouth.

This one is not really the highest high bit the surrealest surreal feeling I have in my tummy when I sit on the high swing in the field near my house, looking at the sheep and the llamas and the fall colors. In a small town millions of miles away from home, away from Ma baba, our tiny garden, the familar streets, DTC buses, Dilli haat, university campus, nainital .. away from everything I grew up with. I don't think I ever dreamt I would be sitting on a swing in new England - NEVER in my wildest imagination. But the strangest part is, it doesn't feel strange or lonely, just bewildering that it's me on the swing...

on a less moldramatic note, one of my favorite songs to hum (actually yell out at the top of my lungs when I am walking on the Emily Dickinson trail alone) is These are days by 10000 Maniacs. It feels so apt in this kind of weather and end of tem and a new turn to life coming up feeling..

These are days you’ll remember
Never before and never since, I promise
Will the whole world be warm as this
And as you feel it,You’ll know it’s true
That you are blessed and lucky
It’s true that you
Are touched by something
That will grow and bloom in you

These are days that you’ll remember
When May is rushing over you
With desire to be part of the miracles
You see in every hour
You’ll know it’s true
That you are blessed and lucky
It’s true that you are touched
By something that will grow and bloom in you

These are days
These are the days you might fill
With laughter until you break
These days you might feel
A shaft of light
Make its way across your face
And when you do
Then you’ll know how it was meant to be
See the signs and know their meaning
It's true
Then you’ll know how it was meant to be
Hear the signs and know they’re speaking
To you, to you....

Sunday, April 16, 2006

Boys Boys woh paagal larhke hee haa hoo

I dedicate this post to all the "boys" who I chased for whatever period of time, who either never gave me any bhaav or decided to chase me a bit too late! HOO HAHHAHA I swear I've never enjoyed writing a post more!

Amit Kumar - ahhh had forgotten the Kumar factor there... the boy of every girl's dream in class VIII. Tall dark and some semblence of hamdsomeness - actually I think the turn on factor was the semblence of stubble on him pretty early in life! It was a leadership training camp and we were playing one of those insane character-building games whne whoosh a 13 year old girl with purple glasses and frizzy hair realised that boys were not so ugly after all! But unfortunately the "love" died soon enough when Mr Macho Jr decided I was not worth talking to.. boo hoo

who was next in line?Ah ha - Anu would know this one. If she ever reads this blog! This was in the taekwando class we took together - this really "janitor" guy (our code name for bhai saab/unintel men/conservative men) what was his name now ... Rishabh? Hemant? who for some reason I took a fancy for... I guess he had a stubble as well or soemthing as inane! Or maybe he kicked the highest or yelled the loudest! Where is anu - she needs to help me out here WHAT WAS HIS NAME??

Hmm, then ofcourse was this 2 month phase (and now Nandu will recall this& laugh!) when I had a huge crush on Vivek.. Trust me I have my reasons for not giving more details! He was the quintessential macho man (howver macho u can be at age 15), going to the gym, very athletic and VERY DUMB. He would say really smart things like "The right girl is one who can dress up in a mini skirt when she is out with you and wear bangles when you take her to meet your mother". Oh okokok, I lied, he didn't say this at age 15 - but at age 18 but whatever! It's still PUKE PUKE BARF... I must confess the founders of my crush list were real sexist shit heads!

Then ofcourse came class 9 and my longest "love" factor Gautam! Ah the good old days of singing pehela pehala pyaar to the cooler - and now Ma baba are in splits laughing right! Hmm, I guess Gautam was the first real one on the list and the good thing was that we were pretty good friends (till ofcourse he confessed his love for another girl in our class to me in a fit of confess-it-all to your friend who unfortunately has a crush on you). I am sure he knew I liked him - I didn't really try to cover that up! I got great kicks out of staring at him in sociology class till it drove him insane! I was sooo bad!!! OH I love myself :)
I wonder where he is now - was quite fond of that guy... inspite of all his madness. (For any ONE getting fake jealous and hmmpphhy, this is 11 year old news!)

Then ofcourse came the waited for "Yellow dantu". My evil sister named him that cos of very obvious reasons! Well, in my defence, one of the heppest girls that too a year senior was dating this guy so I am not the only one blinded by the flash of yellow! It was fun times with him- altho he was the real "bhaalo chheley" (good boy) who would not even call cos "mumma said concentrate on your studies"...My first "date" at Pat- a -cake was quite cute, where we discussed future plans over a pastry! HAHAHAH. I believe he is here soemwhere in a business school or something. But I was never too fond of him so let's move on...

College time - was actually kind of boring in the begninning. Excpet for my professor who I was head over heels in love with - there was this fleeting crush over some Rishabh loser character. OH YEAH , now i remembered the name of the Taekwando guy - it was HRITESH!! Yippy it was driving me crazy not to be able to recall his name. Anu, am i right? Ok, coming back to college time - there was actually no crush at all if I think back. Yup, I was supposedly "seeing" KD but that was mostly out of peer group pressure than anything else. No. to be fair to our 6 month long "relationship" KD was a sweety but as an infamous saint Joshi once said "he is too juvenile for you. Just learning to discover himslef in your presence".. HEHEHEHEH you bet that made me feel good! (Joshi - hmm - was another worth mentioning character in my life. But then I never chased him so I guess that can be saved for later!)
By the way, altho' everyone would want me to believe I had a crush on Adil but sorry people not so... Your maine pyaar kiya bible lied " ek larhka aur ek larhki kabhi dost nahi ho sakte" turu turu ru ruru etc was proved wrong by us :P
The time period is getting too close for comfort so I will stop now and save the rest for my real diary!
...ofcourse feel free to add whoever I might have forgotten - in your comments!

Thursday, April 13, 2006

I believe in Yesterday!

on the nostalgia mode
was just thinking about the many "best" friends who meant the world at one point who I've totally lost touch with now. I guess the "shy boy who made it big" and "the behenji girl who made it hep" tales I 've been hearing about ex-SPV-ites set me off on this memory trail...

The first "best friend" - back in Nursery- was this chubby red faced Bhavana. She used to stay a few blocks away from my Lajapat Nagar House and had this brat of a younger brother. They were a very different family but I guess when you are so young - political orientations and such do not matter that much! Their house always smelled like food, and there were many cupboards to hide and ofcourse the added attraction being that in her house we got to bully the younger brother (not that I didn't bully my elder sister as much but younger is always more fun!). Last I met her was at a old patelian meet in 1997 - she was wearing 100 tola gold and diamond and looked like she is a mother of 5 already. It was quite disorienting!

Class II was - I think- a best friend duo - this skinny snorty gril with pig tails Manisha (actually to be fair she was not snorty all the time but my strongest memory of her is when we were returning from this disastrous camp from a malaria-infested site and she had snort all over her face, sniffeling crying and mosquito bitten). Actually now that I think about it I was always semi embarrassed to be associated with her! HEE HEE I AM SO BAD!

The other one was - ofcouse Nandu- my "friend of convenience" as she has named herself! Now here's the problem - she is one of the only ones who reads this blog so cant really bitch about her can I!! It's wierd how N & I have continued to be so close (in our unsenti rough way!), we started off as such close friends that some aunty (now I don't remeber who) had to separate us into different sections so that we could be unglued from each others back side! In & university she visited once and we had teh greatest game of train train in our garden! I guess that cemented our friednship. Ofcourse, god helped and we were next door neighbors for 20 years after that! From fighting with Mayank and Kabeer over dirt space, to witch witch ghar ghar, treasure hunt and whatver else we played with teh Soumya Ashima and chulbulbulbuls of the world, to crushes, theatre and boyfriedns, it's been hell of a roller coaster ride! :)

oops I broke the chain. So class V- VI was Dolly. I don't know how we became close - I think it was over some ego hassles over "who reads more". Dolly won - she was reading Archer before I had passed the Enid Blyton phase and I was mighty impressed! Was it with her (and someone else) that we wrote a pact in blood!! HAHHAHA I have to check this one up with her. If I am not wrong - in a moment of mad romaticism (I am sure it was Dolly's idea) we signed a pact of friendship for life (in blood?? It couldn't be, but I do remember something as powerful!) D & I stayed in touch in a wierd sort of way - I always felt we were too similar to be close friends for too long!

Then was the shruti mona phase - I don't remember that much of it cos it kind of got steam rolled by the Sudu Ambu phase. But Shruti, Mona and I did do our silly girly things like watching Akshay Kumar movies (yup we did!), try our first "flirting" with boys, discover what periods are about and read a few mills and boons, with all the love parts highlighted for us by our "progressive" (read bra-wearing) friend Preeti! we were the true Judy Blume girls - just in the wrong country!
High school was mostly spent being BAD - my partners in crime were Ambu, sudu and then Somya, Molly and Abha. Ambu was momma-elder sis and big boss all rolled in one. She taught me a whole lot of things - flirting being just one of those! I have the fondest memory of Ambu and even though we came from really different families we were as close as close can be - it's so strange how we suddenly lost touch. She wrote to me suddenly the other day - getting married to her bf from ESPN this october. I really wish I could make it just for old time sake. OHHO, here I go getting sentu pentu again!
I think, Sudu and I were more intolerant and impatient towards each others idiosyncracies and fought as much as were friends. She was at teh awkward age of wanting to "date" boys and all teh boys were at the disgusting age of just being horny porny and gross. So I ws in the odd position of knowing that my friend was making a fool of herself in the pink tights that were not her style but i couldn't do anything about it (I have no idea why she thought those tights would get that cricketer with braces to fall for her but she did!). Well, we were all the same at that age - I was drooling over some chap who didn't even accept I was a girl (I had big nerdy specs which disqualified me as a potential crush)... Oh well!
And since Nandu has brought it up I am going to be crazy and REALLY will dedicate a post to all the boys who I crushed over ..! So read on for more confessions :)

Saturday, April 08, 2006

The Players' Dramawallahs: The Show goes on?

I know I know, I seem to have taken the sole responsibility of remembering "institutions" and dedicating nostalgic tears to them but hey I am a bored PHD student wanting to "relax" on a saturday morning..!
I am not sure which shaped my life more Players or SPV. Oh well,that's not a fair question. SPV taught me a lot of things - how to be pseudo non competitive (no prizes only merit cards), how to respect ppl in an informal atmosphere (the historic waving of hands instead of standing up and saying "good morning SAAR" to teachers!), how to eat till my plate is empty and not waste food even if I am bursting, feminism (our Princy once announced "no girl should wear a skirt BELOW the knee cos that hampers activity - LOL can u imagine that? I mean the reverse happens everywhere esp in my infamous college Kirorimal where Princy announced a dress code for women) independence, creativity and all that blah (I am not sure tho how much of it was SPV and how much ma baba)
Players, taught me a lot as well. How to have fun and be myself for starters. I guess one of the things I hold against SPV (actually, not really, that was mostly my choice) is that very often I was play acting to fit in. I know I said this before, but I spent a large part of my teenage life there just grappling with my identity and pretending to be something I wasn't sure I wanted to be. Players changed that. It was theatre, the workshops and interaction with the theatre people that really brought out the "real" me in me (How ironic is that?! Discovering yourself while acting out a character)

Monday, April 03, 2006

Change is good right??

Got this cornea trouble and should not look at the computer screen - so I am looking at it for the insanest of reasons - BLOGGING! Well, what else am i supposed to do? Write my Phd? HMPPHHH!

Spent the whole day wondering how much life would change by the coming fall. I;ll be out of this lil place, into a real city again, away from the cosy comforts of this pretend city with its small downtown that ends before it starts, the hills, sheep and police records that have the most sensational news ranging from "blind llama discovered in Chesterfield Drive," to "a lone cow wondered into Route 91, the police herded it back to the farm."

Back to traffic jams, big buildings, many streets, many subways, nights full of concerts and pubs (I hope)! i wonder how it would be for A - LA and Boston are totally different - I worry how he would take to the change..The weather, the people, the weather, the new job, the weather!!
Read this interesting exchange of ideas, opinions and abuses(!) on the India times website around the amniocentesis debate. Some ppl were outraged that the blogger had questioned the logic behind making "amnio" illegal. ofcourse some anti- abortion camp ppl quickly jumped in & wrote "ban all abortions"...It was great fodder for my paper idea!

Here's my two bits on it:

1. There is danger in conflating "making sex selective abortion illegal" with "making abortion" illegal. Much of the comments seem to advocate banning "foeticide" in general. I won't bother going into the whole pro-choice debate - cos it's pretty well-established.

2. But while for the West pro-choice is quite a hassle -free argument (atleast among progressive ppl) - it gest sticky for a culture like India where there is such high prevalence of son preference. I thought the blogger was raising a good point - which comes up oftne in the debate around 'whether abnormal fetus should be aborted before they are born and cause parents emotional and finanacila stress".. The age old question of eugenics - only the "normal and healthy shoul;d be allowed to live - unfortunatley for India girls qualify as "abnormal".

3. Is making female foeticide illegal a good solution? I don't think the blogger was at all questioning the ethic of female foeticide. He , like most of the commenters, believes that it's ethically wrong. BUT, is making it illegal going to make anything better? I remeber reading a similar thing that had originally appeared more than a decade ago in Economic and Political weekly by Dharma Kumar. That was pretty much the same argument as the blogger here - just more academic!
Kumar Dharma, “Male Utopias or Nightmares?” Economic and Political Weekly, Volume XVIII, No.3, January 15, 1983, 61-64.

Unarguable, patriarchy, dowry system, the cultural norm that daughters cannot provide intergenartional supprt needs to be challenged. But in the shorter term is passing laws that ban female foeticde at all helpful or are they counter productive? If u make it illegal, familes will resort to unofficial ways of getting the female fetus aborted - making it more likely that the abortion will be unsafe for the woman.... There is a lot more involved here than just getting outraged and calling the blogger names!

Saturday, April 01, 2006

Aao apne Vidyalaya ka: SPV in snapshots

Since I find myself very often searching for blogs on Sardar Patel Vidyalaya SPV - my school for 14 years of my life, i thought I should dedicate atleast one post to it! So if any of u SPV -lovers/nostalgic haters pop in , do leave a note :)

Some of my funnest memories of SPV are in Junior school - our little junior building with junior parks made the real "senior" school seem so formidable. My favorite parts (varied according to my age) were the jungle gym - it took me a long time to get enough courage to hold the bars and clamber down till the middle, but when I did it was a real thrill! Then ofcourse the swings - although I was scared of them as well (shites I think I was a poop in school!) - esp after I fell down and before I could recover the swing came and hit me on my head. More than the pain it was the embarassment that made me semi-traumatised for the rest fo my life!

Then there was Mala Mam (oops Aunty) who i loved and hated at the same time - she was a very different person then, very jovial, very unpredictable and a really energetic Home room teacher..., Shravat Aunty who we were all petrified off esp since she was notorious for boxing ears and throwing our noteboooks into the dustbin, that too from a distance, if we got our sums/tables wrong! I used to have nightmares about her till age 20...
Promila Aunty, who I adored, she must have been barely the age I am now, but she seemed so cosy mummy type then....

Lunch time in canteen when Narayan Bhaiya would serve us rajma/idli-sambhar, poha and lots of delicious stuff, and we had to raise our hands to ger seconds and show our empty plates as proof to the hoem room teacher that we were not wasting any food. And ofcourse there was chubby Prabhat who would keep eating hours after we had all packed up!

How can I forget Assembly time, although I think i enjoyed that more after coming to middle school when I got to sing in the choir. We had the most amazing collection of somgs for all seasons and all occasions. Remember the one on monsoon "Aaya saawan jhuki re badariya, meha barse re o bhaiyan.." that was one of my ever favorites, and for some reason the really moral preachy one "kaam shuru karte nahi bhaye se neeche log.." and "dakshini bayaar chali, dakshini bayar re" . I think I like the last one for vanity reasons - Uma bhai loved the way I sang this one, almost as much as he liked the singer of our class - Aditi! I beleive she has become a big shot dancer and has acted in some movie as well...

By class IX I had become a part of the bad girls - with the shortest skirts possible, hanging out and bunking classes with the bad boys (Rono, Deba, Akshat, Tirtho... that's all I remeber!). Ambu and I had this record of bunking every single english class in class XII till Princy called us in! We did teh same for Sanskrit classes with guruji - when Ambu and I would just sneak into the nursing home (what was it called?? which was run by Basu mam?), sit either on the stairs or lie down on the beds and chat till class ended! the few classes we did attend the only purpose was to "flirt" with the boys from C section (I think it was Gautam and Ambar and maybe someone else!)

It's strange that I don't feel insecure writing real names in this blog. I guess cos it was so so far back and all the names I mention have disappeared in space soemwhere! Class IX onwards were probably the best times I had in SPv- altho they were alos the most difficult times in terms of dicovering myslef. I wasn't sure whether I was the bad "smoker drinker short skirt" type or the good (read benji) type! I liked girls from both sides of this dichotomy - but I guess I schose to fit in the former. Ofcourse I never did make it to the real cream of the wanted girls - the twins and some more rich kids! It's hilarious when u think back about the things that mattered in school - whether u were buying a choco bar or a plain orange bar, whether u were cool enough to be loved by the school shrink, how many "boys" knew u existed, how many visits to Khan market Chonas and Pat-a cake did u make per month...!
Oh, how could I forget Sports week where my house - Neeti- always came last! It was one week of non stop fun - with the hot tents out in the sun and flags waving, kids running jumping screaming - and the march past Neeti house bae se tez chal, ek do ek...:)

Another cool thing SPV had was the "food festival" where people mostly parents I think would bring food from all parts of the country and as far as I can recall it was either very cheap or for free. Panna, bisibela hulianna (or soemthing to that effect!), shikhand, chaat, mmmmmmmmm I wonder if they still have that. And then on Basant Panchami we would get Makke ki roti and sarso ka saag?? I think I am hungry - and my memories are becoming too food-centric as a result!

Dream Therapy

One wierd thing that attracted me to (some warped form of ) sociology early in my life - before I somehow wandered into Economics- was Freud and his whole schpiel on dreams. So why do we dream what we dream? And is there any point in dream interpretation? I very often like to give myself a lot of importance by beleiving that whatever I dreamt of last night has some potent fortune-telling interpretations. Like when I dream some relative has passed away - I always conjure up this hysteria that it might actually come true (thankfully it never does!)..

Some of the ones I get very often - one is of didu (my grandma who died more than 10 years back), somehow in all my dreams about her I know she is dead but she is still not. Umm, so what the plot usually is that I am walking around with her, conversing with her, taking her out to a restaurant, movie, hike etc but only I can see her. Rest of the people believe me but can't see her themselves. No, they are never spooky dreams -- just very nice and comfy...

Then there is another one I see where I am driving a car even tho' I don't know how to drive (technically I do know how to, atleast a lil bit, but in my dreams I don't at all), I always forget where the brakes are, which side of the road I am supposed to drive on, it's very often a hill and I am trying to accelerate but keep sliding down, and the cliff keeps coming dangerously closer.. I hate those ones... I guess it's a big nudge from the divine that i should pick up driving here asap!

The really fun ones are when I know I am in a dream and totally in control of how to end the story, like when ver I get chased by a big honking Mickey Mouse (ok I don't why i am very ofetn chased by MM in a blind alley but I am), and right when it gets close enough to harm me, I know th etrick of repeating to myself 3 times "this is a dream, this is a dream, this is a dream", closing my eyes hard enough and when I openthem I am awake!
Surreal huh ... gives me such feelings of power!

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