making noise
Reading a few more blogs on the Blank Noise Project and it brought back nightmarish memories of all my days in Delhi. It's strange but even the most "non sexist" and rational-headed men get all awkward when their female friends mention their sexual harassment experiences. Atleast ALL the men I've ever spoken to either get all giggly, change the topic, make a joke (almost always related to some retarded version of "adam teasing") or fight to hide their disbelief...
Ok, let's take a poll on this, how many women would find it incredulous that out of the 90 days that I commuted in a blue line bus from DU to Saket, almost 89 days I came back home feeling totally violated and seething with anger cos of some experience of that kind? NO, I did not wear "inappropriate" clothes and NO I did not travel at insane hours... How many men would think I am exaggerating? I think, almost all...
Well, I guess if you haven't lived it, you will not believe it - like seeing aliens huh? Believe the story only when u see it urself? The lil difference being that half the population of India would not find it hard to believe my story. Don't take it personally, I am not saying that YOU pinched my ass - or on second thoughts DO take it personally. Question yourself WHY you find it hard to trust me when I say it happened to me every damn day.. Put urself in my shoes and see how horrible it is to not just go thru that shit with strangers but have men I love and trust not make me seriously.
Ok, let's take a poll on this, how many women would find it incredulous that out of the 90 days that I commuted in a blue line bus from DU to Saket, almost 89 days I came back home feeling totally violated and seething with anger cos of some experience of that kind? NO, I did not wear "inappropriate" clothes and NO I did not travel at insane hours... How many men would think I am exaggerating? I think, almost all...
Well, I guess if you haven't lived it, you will not believe it - like seeing aliens huh? Believe the story only when u see it urself? The lil difference being that half the population of India would not find it hard to believe my story. Don't take it personally, I am not saying that YOU pinched my ass - or on second thoughts DO take it personally. Question yourself WHY you find it hard to trust me when I say it happened to me every damn day.. Put urself in my shoes and see how horrible it is to not just go thru that shit with strangers but have men I love and trust not make me seriously.
Anycase, on a less depressing tone, I thought it is quite a good feeling by itself that so many women (and men) are voicing their opinions or venting their frustrations whatever the mood of the blog may be all over cyberspace. I was reading one mof my friend's angst -filled poetry (oops sorry for advertising but then she is usually the only one aprt from my parents and another 2 friends reading this blog so..!) and the comments to her poems really gave me a glimpse of what happens in the minds of conservative fundamentalists. Be under no illusion, they all are smart people, and have this brilliant strategy of always using Indian culture and Indian mythological figures as their armor. Feminists take a myriad evil forms from surapnakha (the mythological figure who was too outspoken to be a good Indian woman hence she was a devil-ess (?!)- read this hilarious yet dangerous blog for more info), to anti-Indian red flag waving terrorist...
Incidentally that reminds of a really FASCINATING book The Professors: 101 Most Dangerous Professor in America that has just come out here in the US (in case you think India is the only one with brilliant strategies by the fundamentalist Right). No surprises that all the 101 are progressive profs/with leftists political orientation/feminists.... I am waiting for my copy :)
posted by Amrita Pande at 6:53 PM
4 Comments:
Whatever it is,
This is a nice Blog!!!!
w.r.t your lines on men who did not respond correctly on the eve teasing issue, I would call it unfortunate.
I have had the previlege of fighting on behalf of my group mate who was being teased by a group of guys. I still remember the fury that I had, and my friends too, As it was an indecent experience and my whole group was always up in arms to protect any decent girl being teased.
I also remember last when I had shouted from malad platfrom, at a bunch of guys in the train who were teasing a sober girl while on my way back from the office. No doubt they gave back dirty gali galoch but it was not a problem.
But once I chose not to speak because the girl was dressed in such a way that any tapori would not miss a chance to tease.
In other words there are many taporis around. And if they chedofy a decent girl they deserve a treatment. How I wish you were in my group then your experience would have been different.
Further on the hilarious yet Dangerous blog (which is mine) :) I would urge the right message to go out, that is the villians (Case 3 Rakshash and Case 4 Surpanakha) are on both sides and so are the victims (case 3 sita and case 4 Ram) both avtaars (good and evil exist on both sides) that has been identified and hence it is not an anti women blog and this article never ever said that (all) feminist = surpanakha.
I would use example of your impressive article Intell-II when you have correctly identified the problem of using words and its interpretation I would hence make an attempt to get my feelings truly identified by taking in to consideration the whole context and not an extract.
Hence I take it this way that my blog has Dangerous messages for the Evil. And thanks for calling it hilarious as the victims get a balm like treatment.
BTW, I have written a lot without invitation. If permitted, since I have liked this blog, I would comment hence forth.
Hi Jinesh
the good thing about this whole blog business is that u don't need an invitation to write and you are always welcome to shar eyour opinion...
I don't agree with much of the stuff u write - about judging whther a woman "deserves" to be teased and subsequently "saved" by her macho male friends according to her clothes. How is that of any consequence - I won;t (and normal humans should not) dream about objectifying another human being irrespective of what he/she is wearing cos that;s not their business.
Also I was not wanting "protection" from my male friedns just asking for support and challenging their disbelief that such things happen to us on a daily basis...
But as I said u r welcome to disagree!
Did I ever say "Deserved-to-be-teased"?
Its all perceived wrongly. I would be quite, because It is better not to be understood rather than being misunderstood.
Your lines on men-not-understanding enough gave me to understand that yes there are such creatures (infact in both genders) and that is an issue.
But, I just realised for the ones(men) who understand what women say...*are anyways not valued*, when you said that you anyway do not want men to support/protect you.
Whatever I did for my groupmate was because I felt it was my duty and...(just forget it.) I may be on risk of being misinterpreted again.
I wish you all the best.
Good Bye & God Bless You.
Hi again! Maybe I am misunderstanding you - I am glad you are taking the trouble to revisit ths site and try and explain ur comments. All I meant to say, I think no one should feel that their private space has been violated irrespective of what they wear. ANd I welcome u to disagree with whatever I say /write without getting offended! Thats what blogs are for right?
And I meant I want my friends SUPPORT not protection...
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